So Much Better Than This Old Man

Some bigot says a dumb thing and we all go crazy. John Hagee, the CEO of a Church Like Organization (CLO) in Texas, told atheists and humanists to leave the country if they don't like hearing Christmas carols.

Why does this stuff get play? I mean, I know I'm reposting it here. I apologize for that. But I really don't understand why this is news.

I stopped reading after he told atheists and humanists to stuff a Walkman in their ears. First of all, there's no way an entire Walkman would fit in your ear. Second of all, I don't even know where you'd find a Walkman. Third of all, I think he meant iPod. Fourth of all, I think what he really meant was earbuds. Fifth of all, cool kids these days are wearing over the ear headphones for their superior audio fidelity.

Sorry. I lied. I didn't stop reading after he said the thing about the Walkman. This stuff is just the best. We eat it up. I'm so offended by this guy. He said Hitler was sent by God to hunt Jews. He said that! That's some crazy ass shit.

It's kinda distressing to recognize that Hagee's pulpit is bigger than mine or the ones filled by any of my friends will ever be and that his CLO clearly fills some need for the thousands of people who make up its body, but it feels great to be so much better than this old man. Compared to this guy I'm so ethical. I have friends who are secular humanists and friends who are atheists. We get along and everything. There are even people at my church who are agnostic! I know their names and shake their hands. I don't want them to leave the country and that makes me a good person.

Good for me being better than John Hagee.